Isn’t Pregnancy a gas?!

No, this is not about gas. You’re welcome.

A Gas. (noun, 60’s slang word for something that is a lot of fun)

I had to come up with something that sounded so utterly ridiculous (at least in this day) that you would not have any doubt in your mind about the sarcasm being employed. I suppose I should take a minute to write ‘out loud’ that I’m thankful I don’t have pre-eclampsia. Or gestational diabetes. Um…. yeah, that’s about all. I started thinking a couple weeks ago that I was developing PUPPP. “Pruritic Urticarial Papules and Plaques of Pregnancy” — sounds yummy, no? Basically, it means this rash that is from the devil himself that afflicts 1 in about 200 women pregnant with their first child. It’s almost always experienced by women pregnant with boys… or pregnant with multiples. Hmmm… should I be glad it’s not 2 boys at least? Nah, I think this is an all-or-nothing diagnosis. I started getting wheals (like hives) on my stomach on occasion, but they’d seem to go away. The itching didn’t, but I assumed it was just from the stretching of my skin, which is undoubtedly happening quite quickly these days! Well said itching got worse and worse, until I would often scratch so much that…. well, it would be gross. Just take my word for it.

As the time progressed, I started having more and more manifestations of all different sorts — wheals/hives, vesicles, papules, plaques, etc. Basically, all different sizes and shapes of “rash”. (Hives/urticaria think allergy, vesicles think chicken pox, papules think… inflammation?, plaques think scales like eczema and psoriasis…. isn’t dermatology boring? You get the idea, though — lots of itchy red crap that is raised or flat, large or small, filled with stuff or not (ick)….. but all capable of inducing misery). I kept thinking it strange, but not being quite sure what it was because it seemed to only be, literally “inside” of a few stretch marks on the underside of my stomach. Well, it turns out after doing a little research, that’s exactly where PUPPP starts. Always. And then it spreads, which mine has. Now, my stomach has raised (we’re talking 1-2 cm raised!) striae that are BRIGHT red, as well as various other rash “crops” in between and around all of those stripes. It’s totally sweet looking, let me tell you. Be thankful you can’t see my stomach, that’s all I have to say!

As for the itching, when Kyle is not home I scratch the crap out of it. Doing so makes it itch worse and worse, makes me jump around like a maniac and make faces and noises that are far from lady-like (or, actually just far from suitable for public, regardless of ones gender), and then makes it hurt like fire, especially when ANYTHING touches it. You’d think I would learn, right?

When Kyle IS home, he yells at me. Or, in the case of 4am and 5am today, he physically refuses to let go of my hands. So I don’t scratch. It nearly kills me when the itching starts and I’m not allowed to scratch. I make an entirely different set of noises and faces that are borderline hysterical, but eventually it subsides a bit. You know, until it starts back again several minutes later.

My OB would like to talk tomorrow about treatment options. I hear there are none, so I think she’s just pulling my chain. I’ll likely go home with a topical steroid which will at least make it look a little prettier, and might make me feel better in a week or two … at which point I might deliver anyway, and – supposedly – it will go away on its own.

I’m SO tempted to take a picture, just to try and BEGIN to give you an idea of how lovely this is. Thankfully, it has been said in numerous articles that there is “no harm” to the baby or mother, except temporary insanity (I can vouch). I think if I posted said picture though, that there might be readers down all over the globe, and I would be responsible.

Again, just take my word for it. Just 3 more weeks? šŸ™‚

Comments

  1. Oh Jen!!! You POOR POOR thing!!! I had PUPPP with Mason… and it is indeed the devil- and that’s putting it nicely!!! Lucky me got it at 20 weeks and it didn’t go away until 1 week after he was born. I feel for you!!!! I wouldn’t wish this awfulness on my worst enemy…seriously, I know how terrible it is! Ugh… just the thought of it makes me squirm! Hopefully it goes away quickly for you. So sorry you have to add that to the list of pregnancy woes! As if pregnancy wasn’t difficult enough at times!
    Thinking of you!

  2. Jen- I am so sorry you are having this new set of problems. I never had that but it sounds just awful! I pray the doctor can give you something for the itching and relieve the intensity so you don’t go mad. Thank God it should only be a few weeks more…though I am sure every day now seems harder and harder. Love ya!